Being born and raise within a Catholic family environment, God
has always been a part of my life. I received formal education from the
Catholic school system from grade school to college. Being Catholic for so many
years, I understood God as judge and jury and that through long litanies of
prayers and the rituals of sacraments, I would be able to be made right
…justified in God’s eyes. When I became an adult, according to the Catholic faith,
sin in my life represented that I was no longer able to receive the sacraments thus
I felt unworthy in God’s eyes. Sunday church was the worst because if I didn’t
walk down that aisle for communion, I felt all eyes were on me as if I was
being judged by the whole community which deepened the feeling of guilt that I
had with God. And yet, throughout all that time, deep down inside I believed that
no matter how terrible of a sinner I was, that God still loved me (as ironic as that
sounds). The doctrine of justification by way of my Catholic experience can only
be compared to a mice running in circles with no end in that no matter how
strongly intended I was to be righteous in God’s eye, I was always faced with
the reality of my sinful nature and how I could never measure up.
In hind sight, I believe that God had a calling unto my life
and connecting to an evangelical church completely changed things around for
me. In the past 5 years, I’ve learned so much about the Lord (and most
especially myself) within an evangelical church than I did in 30 years within
the Catholic religion. Learning the doctrine of justification within my own
church allowed me to understand the love of God for all of His creation and
allowed me to accept His call in my life, convert, repent and finally feel the
blessing of living a life of righteousness and truth. As Erickson states “he
(Jesus) saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal of the Holy
Spirit.” (Erickson, Christian Theology, pg. 873). My theological understanding of the doctrine
of justification has left me even more humbled and committed to a life of
prayer, fasting and the Word. I feel exactly as Erickson stated “justification
is God’s action pronouncing sinners righteous in his sight. We have been
forgiven and declared to have fulfilled all that God’s law requires of us.” (Erickson,
Christian Theology, pg. 883)
All Praise and Glory to you, My God!